Early this morning, Gideon had a fever. It was not a high fever. He had a runny nose and had been drooling. Common sense, coupled with my experience with our two older children, told me that it was either teething or a virus. We have been down this road before. No big deal.
I know that there are mamas (whom I admire greatly) that have medically fragile children and have to be diligent in seeking medical attention at the sign of any fever in their child. Thus far, that has not been our journey. Yet, I spent over an hour consulting Dr. Google in the wee hours of the morning.
Here's the thing, while I was conducting my "research" I felt convicted the entire time. I knew that I just needed to pray. I was very aware that if I did just that, I could sleep peacefully. But, I didn't. Instead I self diagnosed my sweet baby with everything from a minor virus to meningitis (seriously...over a low grade fever and drooling...pitiful, I know). I am solely responsible for sending myself on an emotional roller coaster at 3:15 in the morning. All three kids were sleeping the entire time I was awake (which is sort-of a rarity these days) and I spent precious time that I could have been doing the same because of a low-grade fever in my otherwise healthy child.
Sometimes I wonder...what in the world is wrong with me???
Why do I often allow myself to run to something/someone else before running to God? Why do I choose to put myself through agony? Why do I ignore the Holy Spirit's prompting and do what I want to do anyway? Why do I still sometimes think I can fix things on my own when this past year has proved just the opposite? Why, why, why???
As if I don't actually know the answer. It's because I am full of flesh. It's because I need to die daily to myself. It's because as John stated, "He must become greater; I must become less." Oh, how I long for the time where that's the first thing I pray every single morning. I want so badly to become less and less so that He can become more and more in my life. I've started to see what that is really like in the last few months and how beautiful it is when I allow Him to lead. It's not all peaches and cream...it's tough at times...but it's so worth it.
So, there's hope and the passage below is my reminder. I pray it encourages you where you're at today as well. Be blessed! :)
Romans 8
I know that there are mamas (whom I admire greatly) that have medically fragile children and have to be diligent in seeking medical attention at the sign of any fever in their child. Thus far, that has not been our journey. Yet, I spent over an hour consulting Dr. Google in the wee hours of the morning.
Here's the thing, while I was conducting my "research" I felt convicted the entire time. I knew that I just needed to pray. I was very aware that if I did just that, I could sleep peacefully. But, I didn't. Instead I self diagnosed my sweet baby with everything from a minor virus to meningitis (seriously...over a low grade fever and drooling...pitiful, I know). I am solely responsible for sending myself on an emotional roller coaster at 3:15 in the morning. All three kids were sleeping the entire time I was awake (which is sort-of a rarity these days) and I spent precious time that I could have been doing the same because of a low-grade fever in my otherwise healthy child.
Sometimes I wonder...what in the world is wrong with me???
Why do I often allow myself to run to something/someone else before running to God? Why do I choose to put myself through agony? Why do I ignore the Holy Spirit's prompting and do what I want to do anyway? Why do I still sometimes think I can fix things on my own when this past year has proved just the opposite? Why, why, why???
As if I don't actually know the answer. It's because I am full of flesh. It's because I need to die daily to myself. It's because as John stated, "He must become greater; I must become less." Oh, how I long for the time where that's the first thing I pray every single morning. I want so badly to become less and less so that He can become more and more in my life. I've started to see what that is really like in the last few months and how beautiful it is when I allow Him to lead. It's not all peaches and cream...it's tough at times...but it's so worth it.
So, there's hope and the passage below is my reminder. I pray it encourages you where you're at today as well. Be blessed! :)
Romans 8
1So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2And because you belong to him, the powera of the life-giving Spirit has freed youb from the power of sin that leads to death. 3The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature.c So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. 4He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.
5Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. 6So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. 7For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. 8That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God.
9But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.) 10And Christ lives within you, so even though your body will die because of sin, the Spirit gives you lifedbecause you have been made right with God. 11The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.
12Therefore, dear brothers and sisters,e you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do.13For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature,f you will live. 14For all who are led by the Spirit of God are childreng of God.
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