God's mercies are new every morning. Lamentations 3 tells us so.
I've always thought needing new mercies every single day is a sign of spiritual weakness on my part.
When you hit bottom, you suddenly realize acknowledging your need for His mercies is the only chance you have for hope.
My spiritual weakness is thinking I should perfect my Christianity before coming to Him instead of acknowledging my depravity while running to Him.
My greatest and only need is to have His presence wholly present...every single day.
I can resist and sit in my own sorrow and filth, refusing to cry out to the One who can lead me out of the mire. Or, I can humble myself and admit my self-reliance needs to dissolve as I allow Him to fully operate in my life.
Scripture doesn't lie. Seeking and drawing are what He longs for us to do. I know from experience, life is so much better His way.
So I choose to seek Him. As I seek Him, I will find Him. (Matthew 7:7-8)
I choose to draw near. As I draw near, He does, too. (James 4:8)
My discouragement in myself and my weariness from life's hardships should not prevent me from meeting Him right where I am. They should be what propels me toward Him so that I can be the person He wants me to be.
He wants me to love mercy (Micah 6:8) so that I can be merciful to others. I can't show great mercy to others if I don't first learn to accept His great mercy.
He wants me to love others with His genuine love (John 13:34). I can't love like He does until I willingly accept His great love for me.
He wants me to encourage others in their times of pain with the same comfort He provides me during mine (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). I can't comfort others if I don't first choose to accept His comfort.
I'm beginning to understand what Paul meant in 2 Corinthians after he said he asked God to take away the "thorn" in his flesh three times:
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
I can now appreciate my weaknesses and adversities. If I bring all of my shortcomings to Him...if I draw closer during my trials, they will help me have a more intimate connection with my Creator, learn more about His character, and ultimately, become more like Him.
Instead of pleading with God to take my flaws from me and quickly get me through trials, l now pray that He uses them to keep drawing me closer to Him so that His power can operate fully in my life.
I don't need to function as a "broken" individual because I can't get it right. It's my brokenness that can perfect His work in my life.