A little voice wakes me up at 4:45 am to tell me, "Mommy, I'm bored.". Even through the grogginess, I smile. " Bored?" As I delve a little deeper, I find out that he is sick. A sore throat. A headache. A small fever. Nothing that Tylenol and snuggles can't fix.
I listen to his breathing. Deep breaths in and out. The kind of breathing that signifies rest. He now sleeps. I am wide awake.
In this quietness my mind starts going down my mental to-do list. What needs to be rearranged so my boy can rest today? What has to happen today? I remember the towels that are in the washer. Towels that must be dried so that showers can happen.
I sneak out of bed and make my way to the laundry room and I see the glow of the computer screen. He is already working. My husband , burning the candle at both ends, to provide for our family.
As I throw wet, heavy towels into the drier my thoughts start weighing on my soul. As I think, my heart begins to feel heavier. And I realize that much like these towels cannot serve their purpose when they are weighted down by water, I cannot serve mine when I am weighted down by thoughts.
Thoughts that like to invade my mind in the early hours, hoping to stay there for the day. Thoughts that tell me I am failing at motherhood...at being a good wife... at life. Thoughts that make me wonder how I can accomplish anything good when I can't even accomplish the laundry pile these days. Thoughts that make me want to put a blanket over my head, and tell someone else to be mommy for the day.
I climb back into bed and I pick up my phone and I stop. Will scrolling through Facebook help me feel better? Is reading an article about how to manage my housework better the best use of my time right now? I am much like my four-year-old...thinking I am bored when really I just need rest.
The rest I need at this moment is not sleep. It's rest from my thoughts. I am new to this whole taking "my thoughts captive" thing. It's not engrained in my nature. But, I am working on it.
So I stop thinking and start thanking. Thanking God for all the things that make this life good...and the things that make this life hard...and laundry...and fast working dryers.
And just as the towels get lighter each minute they are in that dryer, my mind gets lighter as I fill my head with positive thoughts.
The baby is awake now and it's time to start my day. As I begin, my breathing slows. I inhale and exhale, deep and steady. Breathing in His grace. Resting in Him.
And a verse to encourage us all...
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:8-9
I listen to his breathing. Deep breaths in and out. The kind of breathing that signifies rest. He now sleeps. I am wide awake.
In this quietness my mind starts going down my mental to-do list. What needs to be rearranged so my boy can rest today? What has to happen today? I remember the towels that are in the washer. Towels that must be dried so that showers can happen.
I sneak out of bed and make my way to the laundry room and I see the glow of the computer screen. He is already working. My husband , burning the candle at both ends, to provide for our family.
As I throw wet, heavy towels into the drier my thoughts start weighing on my soul. As I think, my heart begins to feel heavier. And I realize that much like these towels cannot serve their purpose when they are weighted down by water, I cannot serve mine when I am weighted down by thoughts.
Thoughts that like to invade my mind in the early hours, hoping to stay there for the day. Thoughts that tell me I am failing at motherhood...at being a good wife... at life. Thoughts that make me wonder how I can accomplish anything good when I can't even accomplish the laundry pile these days. Thoughts that make me want to put a blanket over my head, and tell someone else to be mommy for the day.
I climb back into bed and I pick up my phone and I stop. Will scrolling through Facebook help me feel better? Is reading an article about how to manage my housework better the best use of my time right now? I am much like my four-year-old...thinking I am bored when really I just need rest.
The rest I need at this moment is not sleep. It's rest from my thoughts. I am new to this whole taking "my thoughts captive" thing. It's not engrained in my nature. But, I am working on it.
So I stop thinking and start thanking. Thanking God for all the things that make this life good...and the things that make this life hard...and laundry...and fast working dryers.
And just as the towels get lighter each minute they are in that dryer, my mind gets lighter as I fill my head with positive thoughts.
The baby is awake now and it's time to start my day. As I begin, my breathing slows. I inhale and exhale, deep and steady. Breathing in His grace. Resting in Him.
And a verse to encourage us all...
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:8-9
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