Here's the thing about hope: you can think it's lost.
You can ask me how I know.
You can grow impatient in the waiting. Tired of the soul fighting. Pained because of battle wounds. You feel forgotten. Lost. Helpless. Hope vanquishes. Once you feel hopeless in one area of your life, that hopelessness spreads. It festers. Chokes the living right out of you.
"To live without hope is to cease to live." -Fyodor Dostoevsky
Recently I was in my beloved Target. The toddler was in need of new shoes. He seemed to grow overnight and every pair at home no longer fit. So there he stood beside me in his worn out, too small shoes. I was looking at shoes while singing nursery rhymes to entertain him, and lost in thoughts of a morning conversation with a friend. "What if hope really is lost?" one of us asked. We agreed, hope is never fully gone until the final breath is breathed. Probably.
Right there in the shoe section, my boy decided to test his mommy. He smiled first and then ran. As I quickly grabbed his arm, I looked up. Shoes that I had wanted to buy a few weeks before because of the cuteness factor were staring right at me. Taunting me because this mama refuses to spend $24.99 on toddler shoes that won't fit in a couple months. Plus, it's been a week of unexpected expenses, so in an effort to support the man who supports us, unnecessary spending was not happening.
"Wook, Mama! Wook at shoes!" He had spotted them, too. "I want dose shoes!"
I tried to get him to look at a less expensive pair. He refused. Sat down in defiance.
"I WANT DOSE SHOES!"
I grabbed a pair for him to hold. Anything to not cause a scene. It was then I saw the glorious red tag covering the original price. That tag that has convinced me to buy things I didn't need before because who doesn't love getting something that was $19.99 for $4.99? I looked to see what the new cost was and almost laughed out loud. Those $24.99 shoes were marked down to $7.48. The two pair left hanging were not his size, but my boy was holding the pair that was.
It's a good thing too, because he had already taken off his worn out shoes and I quickly realized he would walk no more without the new pair on his feet.
We walked around the rest of the store. The toddler talking about his new shoes and grinning. Me, grinning at my boy and thinking about my God. He can take a silly pair of shoes and remind me of His goodness. Of how He looks out for us. He can gift me with the exact shoes we both liked for $17.00 less on the same week that we shelled out hundreds of dollars in repairs and suddenly hope springs eternal. He reminds me that some things are worth the wait. More special than if I choose to gratify a want right away.
Sweet boy started to dance and sing:
"I wike my shoes! I wike my shoes!"
His joy was contagious. Strangers smiled. My heart soared. I almost texted my friend to tell her hope was on sale at Target for $7.48.
Some days hope feels lost. Some days you find it in the shoe section at Target. Truth is, ALL days His hope remains steady...even when we forget it's there.
You can ask me how I know.
You can grow impatient in the waiting. Tired of the soul fighting. Pained because of battle wounds. You feel forgotten. Lost. Helpless. Hope vanquishes. Once you feel hopeless in one area of your life, that hopelessness spreads. It festers. Chokes the living right out of you.
"To live without hope is to cease to live." -Fyodor Dostoevsky
Recently I was in my beloved Target. The toddler was in need of new shoes. He seemed to grow overnight and every pair at home no longer fit. So there he stood beside me in his worn out, too small shoes. I was looking at shoes while singing nursery rhymes to entertain him, and lost in thoughts of a morning conversation with a friend. "What if hope really is lost?" one of us asked. We agreed, hope is never fully gone until the final breath is breathed. Probably.
Right there in the shoe section, my boy decided to test his mommy. He smiled first and then ran. As I quickly grabbed his arm, I looked up. Shoes that I had wanted to buy a few weeks before because of the cuteness factor were staring right at me. Taunting me because this mama refuses to spend $24.99 on toddler shoes that won't fit in a couple months. Plus, it's been a week of unexpected expenses, so in an effort to support the man who supports us, unnecessary spending was not happening.
"Wook, Mama! Wook at shoes!" He had spotted them, too. "I want dose shoes!"
I tried to get him to look at a less expensive pair. He refused. Sat down in defiance.
"I WANT DOSE SHOES!"
I grabbed a pair for him to hold. Anything to not cause a scene. It was then I saw the glorious red tag covering the original price. That tag that has convinced me to buy things I didn't need before because who doesn't love getting something that was $19.99 for $4.99? I looked to see what the new cost was and almost laughed out loud. Those $24.99 shoes were marked down to $7.48. The two pair left hanging were not his size, but my boy was holding the pair that was.
It's a good thing too, because he had already taken off his worn out shoes and I quickly realized he would walk no more without the new pair on his feet.
We walked around the rest of the store. The toddler talking about his new shoes and grinning. Me, grinning at my boy and thinking about my God. He can take a silly pair of shoes and remind me of His goodness. Of how He looks out for us. He can gift me with the exact shoes we both liked for $17.00 less on the same week that we shelled out hundreds of dollars in repairs and suddenly hope springs eternal. He reminds me that some things are worth the wait. More special than if I choose to gratify a want right away.
Sweet boy started to dance and sing:
"I wike my shoes! I wike my shoes!"
His joy was contagious. Strangers smiled. My heart soared. I almost texted my friend to tell her hope was on sale at Target for $7.48.
Some days hope feels lost. Some days you find it in the shoe section at Target. Truth is, ALL days His hope remains steady...even when we forget it's there.
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