Thursday, July 28, 2016

When You're Called To Do The Difficult

His 15-month-old face scrunches up and I realize my mistake.  I grabbed his brother's cup filled with lemonade.  And, to this baby who has only ever known milk and water, the taste is sour.  I pause and wonder...if I could see inside my soul, is that the face I would see? Lips pursed, body shuddering, face scrunched?

Bitterness has stolen my peace.  Animosity has robbed me of my joy.  My heart is hard and my stance is firm.  With arms crossed, I refuse to pray about what is causing my angst.  "No, Lord. Not for that person.  Or that one.  They don't deserve my prayers."

In my stubbornness, I have remained bitter.  Furious at them.  Then, this.  Then, that.  Before I know it, I'm waking up anxious.  Fighting to catch breaths.  This anger is turning me against everything.  No longer do I know that "God's got this" all I know is that "I must fix this."

This has gone on for a few weeks and there is a reason this blog has been silent.  How can I say anything good, when this bitter taste is constantly in my mouth?  Bitterness is defined as lack of sweetness, anger, disappointment, resentment.  I would say that's accurate.  I would say that I am experiencing it all.

Finally, in desperation, I reach out for help from a wise woman whom I respect deeply.  She listens and in a gentle tone asks me this, "Are you praying for them?"  Through the course of our conversation, I realize that the way God is choosing to take this cup from me is to do that which I do not want to do...pray for my "enemies."

I HAVE to do the hard thing so that I can have peace.

Am I OK with that?  Can I do it?  Can I sincerely ask God to bless those who are wrong?  Can I trust that He will make it right?

How can I not?

Two years ago, we were consumed with grief from a miscarriage.  He made it beautiful in His time.  A year later, I was consumed with guilt over dropping my 10 week old baby a month earlier.  He made it beautiful in His time.  Ecclesiastes 3 tells us that to everything there is a season.  I don't like this season.  I'd rather pass it by and move on to sunnier days.  Yet, His promises are true and this I do know...He is going to make it beautiful in His time.

So, I kneel.  Face to the ground, I pray.  My heart has not yet softened, but the peace begins to flow.  The glimmer of brighter days is ahead.  As I reach for Him, He will pull me out. BUT...I HAVE to reach.  The way I reach out is by crying out...not for me, but for them.  Just as my baby's expression softens as he finally sips his water, my heart will do the same...in HIS time.  I am "tasting and seeing" that He is good. (Psalm 34:8)

Is He asking you to do a hard thing?  Maybe, like me, it's to pray for someone who is wrong.  Maybe, it's calling that friend.  Maybe, it's being still.  Will you trust Him?  Trust Him to make it beautiful in HIS time???

Proverbs 3
5 Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. 
6 Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track.

Friday, July 8, 2016

This World Needs Hope

He wants to be a police officer.  As I look at his innocent blue eyes, his small hands, and precious little face, I want to hold tight to my 5-year-old and never let him grow up.  Being in law enforcement..what a valiant dream. Oh, but what a scary one for this mama.  Especially now.  Especially with the way the world is going.

I read a FB status from a friend.  He and his wife feel it's necessary to sit two of their young sons down to have a serious talk. A talk about how some people react to the color of their skin.   These parents fear for their sweet boys' futures.  And it's scary for that daddy and mama.  Especially now.  Especially with the way the world is going.

It only takes a half minute of scrolling down the comments of a public article to see that this world is full of hate, fear, rage, "this side," "that side," and chaos...so much chaos.  It is painful to read.  Painful to watch the news.  Painful to hear that someone else has been shot.  When you hear a 4-year-old telling her mommy, "It's OK, mommy.  I'm right here." as they watch the mom's fiancee die, the tears cannot stop falling and you feel like you cannot breathe for a moment.  When you are watching the news and suddenly see a man in uniform lying face first on the ground...lifeless, the tears cannot stop falling and you feel like you cannot breathe for a moment.

And, you can't blame people for hurting.  You can't blame them for lashing out.  You can't blame them for feeling hopeless.  Because, who is showing them the real Hope?

As Christians, this is our duty.  We are to "go and tell the good news." We are failing. Lost in our own sea of fear, anger, misery...we are just letting people die.  Failing to fall on our knees and our faces to pray for our country.  Failing to love and encourage everyone...regardless of race, class level, religion.  Failing to put aside political agendas.  Calling our lack of concern a "stand for our morals." We are wrong.  So very wrong.  We can love without compromising.  We can encourage without sacrificing our souls.  We can pray.  We can pray fervently... at all times.

Recently, Jared and I have gone through emotional pain due to another that very few people know about.  It would be so easy for us to lose our minds.  Without Christ, we very well might.  Without the love and encouragement and prayers from those who do know what we're dealing with, we would feel abandoned. Alone.  Defeated. Hopeless.

And that's the way so many people in this country are feeling.  This anger...despair...anarchy...it HAS to stop.

We need Christ... and we need people.  People who will love.  People who will pray.  People who will say, "We are standing with you." People who will love their lives in a way that points toward the Hope.

Can we be that people today??

Hebrews 6
18 God cannot tell lies! And so his promises and vows are two things that can never be changed.  We have run to God for safety. Now his promises should greatly encourage us to take hold of the hope that is right in front of us.19 This hope is like a firm and steady anchor for our souls. In fact, hope reaches behind the curtain[a] and into the most holy place.