Christians are held to high standards when it comes to loving non-Christians. As it should be. The Bible states that the greatest commandment is love...God first and others as yourself (Mark 12:28-31). We are to go out and tell the "Good News" (Mark 16:15). Win others with love so that they will come to church and, ultimately, accept Christ. We don't want anyone to go to Hell. So there is an urgency. Do we always get it right? Absolutely not. I've heard countless stories of people being hurt by those who feel the need to judge instead of love. It's heartbreaking. If you are reading this and have been one of those condemned by Christians, I apologize. We ALL are so flawed. Incredibly messed up. But, for Grace...none of us would even be here. The church needs to work on loving, not hurting. I get it.
What happens though inside the church? What happens when Christians hurt other Christians? This is not spoken about as much in churches across America. People are silently hurting inside the building that they are supposed to be able to go to and seek refuge...solace from a crazy, chaotic world. Join in "unity" with those of like-mind. Fellowship. Praise Jesus without inhibition. Hear the Word come forth without wondering what those around them are thinking.
For every story I've heard of a non-Christian feeling judged by Christians, I've heard at least five more of Christians being hurt by Christians. Maybe part of this is because I've been raised in church all my life. Here I sit in my thirties wondering why is this considered to be OK? Why is it OK for several members of the body of Christ to loudly proclaim to not hurt people "of the world" but stand silent when their own church members get hurt by their counterparts? Yes, I know we are to "turn the other cheek" (Matthew 5:39). We should not allow "bitterness to take root" (Hebrews 12:15). I've heard so many times, "Well, the Church is made of humans - all who are flawed - and we can't expect for it to be perfect." Of course we can't.
Still, it's wrong.
Jared and I know people who have been so hurt by the church that they refuse to go back. They would rather worship at home. Worshipping at home is fine and necessary, but we wouldn't be told to not "forsake the assembly of others"(Hebrews 10:25) if that wasn't important. We know people who are terrified of other Christians learning a family secret because they know they'll be judged...or their family member will be judged. When you can't share with those you consider to be your friends out of fear of retribution, there is something seriously wrong. Stories of people who are just not nice. Rotten, really. They think it's OK to just say whatever they want because it's not like "Christians are perfect." People who cry during a church service because they are feeling shunned by other Christians. People longing for real fellowship but being told that their Christian friends are just too busy. People who are being criticized because they are voting for this one or that one or no one. People who hurt others all week, but smile on Sunday morning like they are the most God-fearing humans. It disgusts me.
We can complain about America not being unified, but why should it be? Yes, we should be one nation UNDER GOD, but we don't even act like we are one church UNDER GOD. We're destroying our own. We're fighting battles with this world and we're losing because we are wounding our own people. We have people who are considering leaving their faith. People who are beginning to question if God is really good because His people are so mean. How can we bring the lost in if we are losing our own?
We can't.
Is this really how it should be? Should we excuse our behavior under a blanket covering of Grace? Should we act like a high-school with cliques based on social status, ethnicity, background? Or should we hold ourselves to higher standards? We have been changed by Christ who DIED for us. Shouldn't we diligently seek Him to allow Him to change us and form us to be more like Him?
I will be the first to admit that I don't get it all right. I mess up every single day. I am as flawed of a Christian as the next. Know that I point the finger to myself first. And, really, that's the only place any of us should be pointing a finger...to ourself alone. If we focus on God helping us with our own flaws, maybe we won't be so quick to point to others. Maybe we will stop hurting and start healing. Maybe we will become nicer. Better people. Maybe we will begin to see others through His eyes and not through our own judgmental filters. Maybe then the church can become a place of joy and solace for ALL...the lost and the un-lost.
Would that be so bad?
A couple disclaimers: I know that not ALL people in the church act like the above. There are so many kind people in the church. If you have been questioning if you should attend a church, just go for it. Most of the time, the good that comes from the experience, far outweighs the bad. Also, when I refer to "the church" I am referring to the body of Christ as a whole...not a specific church. If you are reading this and know me and think you know who I am referring to in any of this, you probably actually don't as all examples were generalized. And, if I have ever hurt you in any way and haven't made it right, please reach out to me so that I can make it right...and also learn and grow.
What happens though inside the church? What happens when Christians hurt other Christians? This is not spoken about as much in churches across America. People are silently hurting inside the building that they are supposed to be able to go to and seek refuge...solace from a crazy, chaotic world. Join in "unity" with those of like-mind. Fellowship. Praise Jesus without inhibition. Hear the Word come forth without wondering what those around them are thinking.
For every story I've heard of a non-Christian feeling judged by Christians, I've heard at least five more of Christians being hurt by Christians. Maybe part of this is because I've been raised in church all my life. Here I sit in my thirties wondering why is this considered to be OK? Why is it OK for several members of the body of Christ to loudly proclaim to not hurt people "of the world" but stand silent when their own church members get hurt by their counterparts? Yes, I know we are to "turn the other cheek" (Matthew 5:39). We should not allow "bitterness to take root" (Hebrews 12:15). I've heard so many times, "Well, the Church is made of humans - all who are flawed - and we can't expect for it to be perfect." Of course we can't.
Still, it's wrong.
Jared and I know people who have been so hurt by the church that they refuse to go back. They would rather worship at home. Worshipping at home is fine and necessary, but we wouldn't be told to not "forsake the assembly of others"(Hebrews 10:25) if that wasn't important. We know people who are terrified of other Christians learning a family secret because they know they'll be judged...or their family member will be judged. When you can't share with those you consider to be your friends out of fear of retribution, there is something seriously wrong. Stories of people who are just not nice. Rotten, really. They think it's OK to just say whatever they want because it's not like "Christians are perfect." People who cry during a church service because they are feeling shunned by other Christians. People longing for real fellowship but being told that their Christian friends are just too busy. People who are being criticized because they are voting for this one or that one or no one. People who hurt others all week, but smile on Sunday morning like they are the most God-fearing humans. It disgusts me.
We can complain about America not being unified, but why should it be? Yes, we should be one nation UNDER GOD, but we don't even act like we are one church UNDER GOD. We're destroying our own. We're fighting battles with this world and we're losing because we are wounding our own people. We have people who are considering leaving their faith. People who are beginning to question if God is really good because His people are so mean. How can we bring the lost in if we are losing our own?
We can't.
Is this really how it should be? Should we excuse our behavior under a blanket covering of Grace? Should we act like a high-school with cliques based on social status, ethnicity, background? Or should we hold ourselves to higher standards? We have been changed by Christ who DIED for us. Shouldn't we diligently seek Him to allow Him to change us and form us to be more like Him?
I will be the first to admit that I don't get it all right. I mess up every single day. I am as flawed of a Christian as the next. Know that I point the finger to myself first. And, really, that's the only place any of us should be pointing a finger...to ourself alone. If we focus on God helping us with our own flaws, maybe we won't be so quick to point to others. Maybe we will stop hurting and start healing. Maybe we will become nicer. Better people. Maybe we will begin to see others through His eyes and not through our own judgmental filters. Maybe then the church can become a place of joy and solace for ALL...the lost and the un-lost.
Would that be so bad?
A couple disclaimers: I know that not ALL people in the church act like the above. There are so many kind people in the church. If you have been questioning if you should attend a church, just go for it. Most of the time, the good that comes from the experience, far outweighs the bad. Also, when I refer to "the church" I am referring to the body of Christ as a whole...not a specific church. If you are reading this and know me and think you know who I am referring to in any of this, you probably actually don't as all examples were generalized. And, if I have ever hurt you in any way and haven't made it right, please reach out to me so that I can make it right...and also learn and grow.
